Alien

Alien

For me,

There is a surrealism to balance.

What is it like to breathe

And not gasp?

Or walk

And not sprint?

 

Aliens are in emotion.

How does one cry without crumbling?

Or stand their ground with defiance

Without bubbling over with a poison rage

Like acid from a cauldron?

A burning, corrosive witches brew.

To see someone cheerful,

Instead of ecstatic is confusing.

I can tell you I have seen UFOs.

They are

In the people I love,

In bus drivers and friends,

In shopkeepers

And therapists.

 

They are alien to me,

Because they are so human

Without complete excess.

I wish I could have just loved you

Instead of being alive

only because of you.

 

Aliens, teach me your ways.

Breakdown the surrealism.

 

Let me be a human.

 

~Emma Catherine

thelilaclysander.com

Chase

Chase

I can’t seem to sit still anymore

I don’t want to sleep anymore

It’s all a huge chase

That’s the game

Keep moving and it won’t catch you

When I am seated I have to watch it take over my body

I have to sit with people dancing around my head

(When it’s quiet

I can even hear them)

My legs that move with the waves of feelings

A neck that cracks to zap some of that friction

Between my stomach and my brain

I can’t seem to sit still anymore

I’m that irritating foot-tapper

Don’t let it be silent

Don’t make me listen to those muffled slurs and groans through that goddamned bedsheet

Don’t make me hear those shouts and those words

That have cut like knives into my exterior

Don’t let me relive it

I don’t want to sleep anymore

It’s like I can’t bear the waiting for another day

Let me keep going

Let me keep running

Make the days go faster

Make them go so fast they blur into nothing and then they’ll stop for good

Let me keep running

Don’t let me be human anymore

(A cheetah will do just fine)

Let me keep running

No sleep, no stopping

If I stop

I won’t be able to cope with the feeling

I can hear it catching up with me goddamit

What have I told you about slowing down!

I can’t stop running or else it’ll catch me up

And crash into me

I just want the world to turn faster

And the sun to rise and set like the tides

Anything that will make the running quicker

I’ve just gotta keep running

Keep your eyes on the ground ahead

I know when I stop I’ll have to face it

I’ll have to ask myself:

 

Who am I running from?

 

Am I running from them?

 

Or am I running from myself?

 

And where the hell am I running to?

 

 

~Emma Catherine

thelilaclysander.com

 

A Penny- a poem

A Penny- a poem

~Living in a household of abuse and shouting almost constantly is no way to live~

A shout (a low voice)
A shout (a higher one)
A shout
Is all it takes for me
To become the size of a penny
And for the roof to come crashing down
A little penny
Rolling between his fingertips
Rolling down the stairs
Chased by a cat with moons in her eyes
Cold and metallic
Like blood in my mouth
Rolling with my thighs and feet up in the air
A penny
Inside a piggy bank
With no plug to pull
And I will roll away