She was selfish in her suicidality
She was frustratingly reckless
She fought with me ruthlessly
And her parents tirelessly
She was exhausting and exhausted
Undone, promiscuous, troubled and angry
She was self-destructive and destructive to others
She was also hilarious and childish and lovely occasionally
She burnt a lot of bridges
Bloodied clothes and sheets and carpets
She was so sad sometimes that she knocked everyone to pieces
She was dealing with a lot
And she was a lot to deal with
She got sick and then she got better
Because she was naive sometimes unfortunately
She was a dreamer
Romanticised blue skies, beaches and flowers
She was also beautiful
And painfully rageful and stroppy
She was manic and constantly over-excited
She felt she was a burden to others
And was a nightmare to live with
She was loved by almost everyone, but struggled to give it
But I remind myself that I was young
And I still learning, and I was tired
I was finding my feet
And I really did try my hardest
She was all of these things
But she was entirely and unapologetically me
And so I forgive her
By Emma Catherine
thelilaclysander.com