Gender: Yellow Flower (a poem on gender)

Gender: Yellow Flower (a poem on gender)

Yellow :

The colour of my wallpaper as a child

Ambiguity specific to non conformity

The colour my parents chose for me

Months before Emma was the name that rolled out of mouths when they saw me

What a beautiful name for such a sweet little girl

You start to feel confused when you relate to the word ‘flower’ more than ‘girl’

And so comfortable in a dress

Yet so alien in ‘please select your gender and quickly’.

How can such a beautiful girl

turn out with hips shaped like the curve of the earth

and question marks in her eyes.

A yellow flower who can be grown in gardens

and bloom in the springtime.

For now I wrap myself in a cocoon of yellow wallpaper

And it seems to fit so perfectly

for a flower who’s edges are a little too

blurred.

 

 

 

 

 

Things people have said when I told them I have an Eating Disorder.

Things people have said when I told them I have an Eating Disorder.

The bad:

  1. You’re not even fat
  2. If you were my daughter I would make sure you ate
  3. Oh you’re not one of those are you?
  4. You don’t look anorexic
  5. Why?
  6. That’s a silly thing for such an intelligent girl to have
  7. Just eat
  8. Oh I used to diet too
  9. But I’ve seen you eat…
  10. So you’re vegan then?
  11. You’re ruining my life
  12. Selfish little girl

The good:

  1. That explains alot, thank you for telling me
  2. I love you and we will get through this together
  3. You’re weight doesn’t define you
  4. I’ll be with you every step of the way
  5. If you choose recovery I will have your back forever
  6. I know you’ll beat this, you’re a fighter
  7. Some day this will make you stronger even though you are feeling weak right now
  8. This doesn’t change how much I love you
  9. I don’t understand it, but I’m still here for you