I forgive her

I forgive her

She was selfish in her suicidality
She was frustratingly reckless
She fought with me ruthlessly
And her parents tirelessly

She was exhausting and exhausted
Undone, promiscuous, troubled and angry
She was self-destructive and destructive to others
She was also hilarious and childish and lovely occasionally

She burnt a lot of bridges
Bloodied clothes and sheets and carpets
She was so sad sometimes that she knocked everyone to pieces

She was dealing with a lot
And she was a lot to deal with
She got sick and then she got better
Because she was naive sometimes unfortunately

She was a dreamer
Romanticised blue skies, beaches and flowers
She was also beautiful
And painfully rageful and stroppy

She was manic and constantly over-excited
She felt she was a burden to others
And was a nightmare to live with
She was loved by almost everyone, but struggled to give it

But I remind myself that I was young
And I still learning, and I was tired
I was finding my feet
And I really did try my hardest

She was all of these things
But she was entirely and unapologetically me
And so I forgive her

By Emma Catherine

thelilaclysander.com

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