I don’t know how to write a poem about love anymore

I don’t know how to write a poem about love anymore

I don’t know how to write a poem about love anymore
how do you spill your heart out
when there’s no glow left to hold there
I don’t know what it feels like to be held
and not wish for someone else
or not wish for more
what happened to the love that I once was surrounded by
all I feel of it now is a longing
like an empty space on a bookshelf otherwise full
or an empty hand
the right carrying my jacket
the left closed but somehow reaching out for one of its own that belongs to someone else
I read romance in novels and I see it in those that I care so deeply for
(the glisten in their eyes and
the smile that sometimes escapes them when they think no one’s looking)
but to see is not the same as feeling it
and to feel it is not the same as giving it
how do you write a poem about love when you lost yours long ago?
There are slopes along my waist where hands used to hold me
to feel safe in someone’s arms in a world like this is an eclipse
I have become so used to just being a penny rather than a 2 pence
that I thought I had moved on from the ache I used to feel between my ribs
but now, as I write this,
in my one-bedroom flat on the cool sheets of my single bed,
I feel it has been there all along.

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